Conflict Resolution At SCUU

I saw this video on YouTube and immediately the words "conflict resoltion" popped into my head.

Although the cats look like they're playing patty cake there is conflict lurking underneath -- the claws, biting, and hissing eventually come out.

When herding cats at SCUU we have a few guidelines. They are on www.helpguide.org...

Unhealthy responses to conflict are characterized by:

An inability to recognize and respond to matters of great importance to the other person
Explosive, angry, hurtful, and resentful reactions
The withdrawal of love, resulting in rejection, isolation, shaming, and fear of abandonment
The expectation of bad outcomes
The fear and avoidance of conflict

Healthy responses to conflict are characterized by:

The capacity to recognize and respond to important matters
A readiness to forgive and forget
The ability to seek compromise and avoid punishing
A belief that resolution can support the interests and needs of both parties

There are 4 steps we agree upon...

1. to accept that the SCUU covenant provides principles and practices(guidance) of how we wish to treat one another.
2. to take part in conflict resolution training...
3. to act when conflict arises between the member and others by speaking directly with each individual who feels the need to resolve a conflict.. Having a 3rd cat around helps.
4. to recognize that conflict resolution is hard and very important to do....

Linda gives a workshop called "Have A Nice Conflict" which is excellent; we call it HANC.

Remember:

If you don't get everything you want, think of the things you don't get that you don't want. ~Oscar Wilde